When Our Eyes Lie
When Our Eyes Lie represents the compulsive behaviors of body checking commonly associated with body dysmorphia. Body checking is a behavior that involves the compulsive examination of one’s physical appearance seeking information about your body's size, shape, appearance. While working through past trauma, I wanted to recreate the feeling of anxiety and compulsivity that forms from the actions of body checking. To do this, I create paintings composed of obsessive, repetitive brush strokes and patterns.
I created When Our Eyes Lie to depict hyper-fixation in the act of compulsive body checking and demonstrate how the mind extends beyond its subjective limits and the negative effects of today's cultural and societal beauty standards. It challenges the idea of beauty based between the views of one's self and others. The continuous projection from the media and external perception of a women's idealized body can lead to destructive behaviors when shaping body image. When those perceived flaws become a source of anxiety and fixation, the feeling can be crippling.
Most recently, I have been exploring oil painting and experimenting with color. The approach I began with when applying the paint was to allow the moments of imperfection to live in the paintings. I wanted to challenge my state of mind and create where the goal wasn't perfection. The concept of this idea was to allow myself to accept imperfections rather than fixate on them. By doing this, I began seeing the beauty in its own creation.
As a child, I always used art as a therapeutic outlet to express myself in ways that words could not. The work I create explores the female figure in a state of fixation. When Our Eyes Lie sheds light on body dysmorphia, the obsessive act of body checking in its most vulnerable state, and what it feels like for me. The compulsive tendencies that come along with body checking from continuously looking in mirrors, windows, shadows and obsessively examining your body for any subtle changes you think you can find.
In this series, I make the connection between body checking and painting in a way that each time you examine them, you also start looking for any subtle changes. From brush strokes to texture, each painting has a story to tell. Body checking and hyper-fixation are formed habits and can present themselves differently depending on the person. I named this series "when our eyes lie" because things aren't always what they seem. What you say and what we see can be two different realities. Body dysmorphia hides in plain sight and affects a large population. I wanted to shed light on this topic and gently remind you that not everything is a compliment when we don't know each other's battles.